A taxing situation

Everyone’s a Republican on April 15

By Melanie Smith
From the April 2004 Print Edition

I have never hated the mailman as much as I do now. There I was one day, innocently flipping through the contents of my mailbox, when I saw it—“Important tax information enclosed.” Soon I was swimming in an alphabet soup of W-2’s, 1099-INT’s, and 1098-T’s, and wondering to myself, “What is this garbage?” The government has about 10,000 different tax forms that all mean the same thing: you can kiss your hard-earned money goodbye.

For one fleeting moment I celebrated the fact that I do not make enough money to be taxed, and that I could expect a pleasant, though miniscule, tax return from all of this. That euphoria soon wore off when I reminded myself that a tax return is not really a generous gift from Uncle Sam, but money that was mine to begin with and was taken from me. Too few people seem to realize this. Well, back to the W-2’s.

This experience has led me to a couple of realizations. First, Patrick Henry must be rolling in his grave right now…and this is taxation with representation! The only difference is that now it is legal for the government to financially rape its citizens. To add insult to injury, this robbery is accompanied by strenuous paperwork that nobody in his right mind wants to deal with. This leads me to my second conclusion: I picked the wrong major. Accountants are hitting pay-dirt right now filing taxes for liberal arts majors.

Moreover, I found myself pondering an interesting question: How do liberals behave when they do their taxes? Do they enjoy filing taxes? Do they jump for joy when their W-2’s arrive? Perhaps parting with portions of their paychecks gives them a sense of accomplishment. Perhaps they think to themselves, “Hooray! I’m helping fund government programs that would be much more efficiently run through private philanthropy!”

I would be willing to wager that this is not the case. No matter how smugly self-righteous the liberal proponents of higher taxes act in public, when tax day rolls around they are probably just as irritable as their conservative counterparts. You know the saying—everyone is a Republican on April 15. Indeed, liberal politicians like Senator John Kerry seem to have a case of identity crisis. When Kerry denounces the Bush tax cuts “for the rich,” does he not consider himself a member of this group? An annual salary of $154,700 sounds pretty good to me. It is not the concept of wealth with which I disagree; rather, it is the fact that Kerry attacks the upper class even though he has voted in the past to raise his own salary.

Even more maddening is Kerry’s recent voting record—or lack thereof. Since the beginning of the 108th Congress, Kerry has missed over 300 votes, or 65%. Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Democratic nominee for the presidency of the United States. Despite his dismal attendance rate, Kerry is still receiving full pay, which incidentally is paid for with tax money. How interesting. In a way, though, these facts have given me some insight into Kerry’s stance on taxes: I suppose if I were able pull in six figures while doing less than half of my job, I would not mind higher taxes as much as people who work overtime to maintain middle-class standing.

It is baffling that anyone would assert that tax cuts hurt the middle and working classes. Repealing tax cuts means raising taxes, and therefore taking more money from these same people—is this compassionate? The tax cuts are allowing normal people to keep more of their hard-earned money. Take, for example, the child credit and the reduction in the marriage penalty: given that marriage and the presence of children transcend income levels, how are these cuts unfair? President Bush realizes that it is a flawed system in which citizens are penalized for marrying and raising families. Additionally, he has successfully pinpointed the absurdity of forms of taxation such as the death tax. People do not think about this as much as they should; you cannot even die without paying the government for it.

So, in honor of tax day, I challenge you to consider the implications and injustice of a system which charges you money to simply live your life. Ask yourself whether keeping more of your own money really hurts you as the Democrats would like you to believe. If you are convinced that you have somehow lost money from the tax cuts, I hear that John Kerry has money to spare. And if you are in a genuinely happy mood on April 15, please let me know. In the meanwhile, I will be researching what it takes to become a Certified Public Accountant.

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